Rest for the Tortured Soul
by CK4
Summary: The Wars are over for the world but not for the 9 individuals that helped to end it. They still have to deal with whatever feeling and problems that faces them in life and in death…
1. Part 1

Chapter 1- Broken Wings   
Nothing 

There is no place for me 

No one 

No dreams 

_ Running his calloused hand through his messy brown locks, the young veteran continued to watch the sunset. _

No life 

No hope 

A rogue, that is what I am 

Loneliness, my only companion 

_ Red and orange burnt the sky; colours of passion. _

Nothing can fill this gaping hole in me that has grown so deep it is consuming the remnants of my soul that the war was as kind as to leave behind 

I had nothing 

No joy 

Feel nothing and you would get hurt 

They said I could start over, become a real person 

My knowledge of life is limited to death 

Reach for the sky, they told me; nothing is beyond your grasp 

My wings were slipped long ago. I can't fly. Never knew how anyways, so what's the sense 

There is none 

Life is non-sense. Everything and everyone is confused, that is what brought about wars 

I have no use now 

I have fulfilled my destiny 

How do I know? I feel out of place. Taking up too much room. I'm in the way 

Life is cheap, especially mine 

_The sky becomes darker, and the red and orange is replaced by the subtle colours of indigo, navy blue and a soft pink to mark the sun's exist. _

Will this gun in my hand close this growing hole that has now become apart of me? Or will it make it wider? No. No doubts should enter my thoughts. They interfere with the mission. 

Maybe that was what my life was 

A mission 

It felt like that. I can finally end it 

The dreams. The cries of evil, mercy, desperation. . . will no longer torment me 

I will be free from this messed up life. I will claim freedom. 

It's so easy 

Down the barrel of this gun is my destiny 

_With the disappearance of the sun, darkness settled over, and shadows stretched. Dark red liquid spilt on the green carpet, which now embraced the owner falling into obscurity. _

Mission Complete. . .   
**Disclaimer:** Stories mine but the character 'Heero' isn't. 


	2. Part 2

Hatred Kills   
There is goes again. That glint in the shadows... the light that is bouncing off the gun of the assassin sent to kill me... murder me! 

Even though the war is over, doesn't mean that all the hostility, hurt, and anger are gone. 

If only people could understand. Walk around in my shoes for a while, see what I have seen. 

But it is not to be. 

When they have completed their mission, they will ignore the results of their actions. I am sometimes filled with sudden rage. I begin to believe that they actually ENJOY war. That they love the death of innocence and that fresh blood on, not only their hands but also, their souls is like a cup of coffee in the morning. They are ruthless! Looking out for only themselves and not give a DAMN for their own mother. They are selfish, conniving, and murderous- 

No. 

I can not accept that mankind can be that evil. There is something that everyone would fight for, die for! That man holding the gun- we have different views but... which one is right? 

Here I stand, in front of this vast assembly of people that I am giving a speech of peace to, also announcing that I am donating 4 million dollars to the Peacecraft foundation to secure the fragile peace that is reigning in our universe. The majority of the people gathered are the inhabitants of this colony- my colony. These are the same people who rejoiced at my father's death. These are the same people that have been sucking up to me. Acting as if what they did in the past has no value and that I would forget. 

Bullshit! 

How can I ever forget their cruel actions? Turning on my father who has done nothing but help them, it disgusts me. If only- 

No. 

Hatred kills. 

Blood brings more blood and sorrow gives birth to itself. I will not continue the cycle of pain. It doesn't look like I have much of a choice. I have just received eye-contact with my assassin and he or she raises the gun to aim at my head. 

I knew this day was coming but I never thought it would be this soon. It's only 3 years since the end of the wars... 

I must have already fulfilled my destiny, completed my task I was sent here to do. That's alright with me. 

At least I can say I made a difference. 

I helped the fighting to end. 

I did not let anger take control of my heart, soul, and mind because... 

Hatred kills.   
A.N. that was Quatre, and comments would be appreciated 


	3. Part 3

Born to Die   
As soon as we're born, we start to die. It's a fact of life. 

Once there is a beginning there is bound to be an end. So after the first breath we draw, there will be a last. 

I was wholly aware of this before I entered the war: the fact that I lived on the streets as a child taught me countless lessons. Foremost is how to survive as long as you can dependant on no one but yourself. 

The only thing I know that lasts eternally is love, and even it can be so faint it seems dead. 

I have accepted death. We're accomplices in crime. HELL! I fall in its shadow every time I enter my mobile suit and engage in battle. It's all around me, overwhelming me. 

The universe is balanced with good and evil, life and death. Too much of one brings chaos and mayhem. 

I have seen too much of one. Too much of death. Too much... 

I used my smiles to hide the pain. Hide the sorrow. Hide the damage. . . 

The damage that is caused by experiencing too much of one side of the grand scale that weighs our universe. I bear the marks of what no one should ever have. Thanks to peace the wounds are healing but... the scars won't disappear. 

They will remain as a reminder of what too much of one thing can do, of what death, evil and war can do. 

Behind my grin, I wore a frown. Behind the light-hearted laugh there was weeping. Buried beneath the twinkle in my eye glistened tears. But all this was before Hilde…before my wife. 

Before the vows, I told her all I could give her was death since anyone who enters past my hearts protective borders winds up dead. She told me 'the only thing promised to us in the beginning is death' and that she would face death himself if it meant she could be with me. 

But Heero's dead. Suicide. He was my friend… my best friend more likely. He didn't try to live... 

Until someone finds the cure for death I'll keep on living; living the life that I have set out for myself, with decisions made in the past as my only guide to the future. I might as well be blindfolded… 

But fate has been kind in the end. Maybe there is such thing as living happy ever after and there might be a rainbow at the end of the storm. After the night perhaps there is morning. 

I look down at my wife, and smile. 

Who can tell what is around the bend, or what the future holds hidden in the deep folds of its cloak. All I know for certain is that we are all destined to die. 

Who can tell what is around the bend, or what the future holds. All I know for certain is that we are destined to die. One can conclude that our purpose after we are given life is to lose it. 

Born to die 


End file.
